Use The Track, Benedict

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Everybody expected it. Everybody craved it. We were all glued to our TVs or the beloved, blessed and forever-to-be adored live streaming Internet services. All we wanted was that little glimpse of what the BBC has done best.

Sunday night was the apocalyptic scenery of our fandom. Twitter, the battlefield. Our leader? The not-so-dead *insert Jeremy Clarkson voice* Sherlock Holmes himself, Benedict Cumberbatch!

This is an internet meme, right?In an uproar of cheers and applause, the Curlybatch proceeded from among several watchers (how those people were still standing, I will never know) and up on stage, next to the Clarkson and the infamous couch-and-telly. What followed is now fangirl history. In what I believe to be the most watched Top Gear episode of the last years, millions of British ladies and even more bloggers and tumblrs and facebookers and twitterers watched the landscapes of Spain and the empty airports and deserted streets and houses, we all became sudden fans of McLaren, all for the 15 minutes that gave us THE MAN! And gosh, was that a joy to watch.

photo (19)A mix of the humble actor and the fun man that he is, Ben managed not only to escape from Jeremy’s usual mocking-and-teasing-and-being-an-asshole, but also to do the impossible and the thing I guess the Icona design director has fantasized about during this episode. The Clarkson punch was received with ovations and a proof of Ben’s directorial talent. His years of working in the business have told their worth as he guided the camera and Jer’s position, so that everything looked brilliantly perfect. The TG presenter actually looked a bit baffled at how easy it was for Ben to tell people where to stand and what to do. The people in the audience didn’t have to pay more for dry-cleaning, since not a single speck of blood left anyone’s nostrils, despite a very convincing (and fangirl worthy) Hollywood punch. Good job, Jer, you moved your head in time. (God, Ben’s sad smile when he replied to that… Oh, bring me a blanket, I need to go to my mind palace.)

This whole episode was marked by small bursts of witty and geeky, all while being natural, normally excited, a bit nervous (how many of you noticed his rubbing-his-leg tic?) and altogether charming. When asked about baddie British typecasting, his comment was priceless. Do Americans really find intelligence scary? Truth is, the British accent does make Ben and the UK nation sound ripped out of a University course, but it also brings so much beauty to their words, I’d even say it makes them sound sexy. Hell, of course it does!

photo (20)Clarkson started the discussion with this and we finally found out how Sherlock faked his death! Hurray! Ring the Bells of Notre Dame! So, Mycroft was in a helicopter with an inflatable dress and he jumps and catches Sherlock and gives him a pill which stopped his heart for a bit. All our theories were for nought! This was the truth all along! But then Mr. Moffat came and wiped our brains and, nope, that was not the truth.

What completely melted me was his reaction to the punch proposal. Not only did he tell Clarkson that the way he punched the air looked like he was cleaning his windscreen, but, when the crowd went “Yeah”, he WINKED and “Yeeeeaaaah”-ed with them. That reminded me so much of the Blind Banker! He looked so cute and just like the kind of man you would like to take home. A wink from Ben was all it took to have us smiling from our stomachs to our fingers.

photo (15)The fanfiction bit had me laughing through my toes, since it’s not only true, but also ridiculously true. It’s fun to know that he acknowledges their existence, but God, if I were to write about handcuffing the Johnlock together, floating to space. Sorry, can’t type anymore, my fingers are shaking from laughter.

The mention of his Jaguar made me remember the commercial, AKA his voice, AKA I’m dead and the way he talked about his mother was so beautiful and so son-like. I really enjoyed watching him appreciate his mother and all the work she had done. I’ll definitely buy a Mini when I’ll go to England, since it appears to be a very good choice for beginners.

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From his carjacking in South Africa, that he recalled with a definite sense of propriety and care for the nation, to the cars he used to own, everything he said left us happy and craving for more.

Except his lap. Did I not tell ya he was going to curse a bit? I’m not a supporter of cursing, but if I’m not putting YEEEEPPEEEEEYYYAAAAAYYEEEEEEEEYYY MOTHERFUCKAAAA as my ringtone…. (Go here to have your own. 🙂 The idea that a voice as deep as the Mariana Trench can go as high as Maria Callas’ trills is hilarious to the point it becomes real.

photo (27)His “Oh God” before the recording said it all. He’s not a fast driver, but Lord, is he a fun driver. I’m not a speeder myself, so he definitely was faster than I would have been, but he was absolutely brilliant. Between curves, he managed to comment on the heating system and do a Yoda impersonation. You don’t get better than that. Wonder if he does road-trips.

He wasn’t faster than Warwick Davies or Eric Bana? True. He could have been faster? True again. I have a problem with truth today, apparently. However, he gave us not only a glimpse at something that looked like his real self, but also a treat of his curly mash of hair, his beautiful smile, his Jaguar voice. His birthday is this Friday, so make sure to send your birthday wishes (and marriage proposals) as soon as possible. 🙂

photo (26)He is a real hero. A man to inspire and amaze generations after generation. I will always be surprised at how natural he is when he acts. He leaned in and pretended to be a fan and I almost thought “Wait, why… Where’s Ben?” That’s how powerful he is, he can completely disappear and let the character rise. Even for something as feeble as fooling Clarkson.


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